Milly

A Nurse Makes Big Choices, 1944-1946

I was humming as I got off the bus at my parent’s stop. Things were going well for me. I enjoyed nursing and looked forward to an exciting career as a registered nurse. I had a few hours off to visit my parents. The sky was blue and clear of enemy planes. My mind jumped from one happy thought to another as I entered the small Halliday gate.

Mother met me at the door with a quick hug. She ushered me into the living room.

I gulped. To my utter surprise, there stood Edward Ware.

“Milly! So glad to see you! I just got back from Canada.”

It was hard to bridge ten years in two minutes. The last I had heard of him he had a girl friend.

I felt shy as I faced this handsome man. “Nice to see you, Eddie.”

“Will you be home for long?” he asked.

“No, only an hour or two. I have to be back on duty this evening.”

“I must leave right away, since I promised Mother that I would only be gone a minute. She was pulling lunch out of the oven when I left. I hope you won’t mind seeing me again?”

“That would be fine.”

He beamed and excused himself.

As mother closed the front door she said, “He sure is a nice boy, isn’t he Milly?”

“He’s all right,” I said casually, contradicting the flutter of my heart.

In the weeks that followed I tried hard to think only of my upcoming final exams. However, a letter I received from Eddie, addressed from an air base in the north of England, interrupted my commitment.

My heart spun as I danced around in my room with the letter in my hand. Then I stopped and thought, Why should his letter send me into ecstasies? We had not communicated in years. I put the letter in my pocket and carried it with me on the ward. How would I write back? I must finish nursing before I could make a commitment, yet I didn’t want ignore his proposal. What should I say?

A few nights later there was a terrifying air raid. The matron shouted, “In between checks of the patients, sit in the linen closet, and if a bomb hits the hospital you’ll hopefully come out with the living.”

I could hear the bombs striking closer, so close that I was convinced the next one would land on the hospital. As I faced imminent death I knew I didn’t want to die without telling Eddie that I was interested in him. I found a writing pad and wrote from the closet,

I posted my letter and waited. In my off-duty hours I sorted my feelings: a heart that raced at the very thought of him; a contented peace at the sound of the name, “Mrs. Edward Ware”; however, I worried that when I told him I could not have children, he would lose interest in me. I even fretted that my aloofness would turn him off. As I considered the total picture, I came to the conclusion that I really loved Eddie, and if in truth he loved me, any other person or plans would be insignificant.

As I was making this life changing decision, my mother was unexpectedly admitted to our hospital. She was seriously ill. The doctor recommended a complete hysterectomy. However, she was so ill that surgery was postponed for a week. As much as I had become interested in communicating with Eddie, and planning our future together, I gave my mother first priority. Her critical condition as well as my other responsibilities took precedence. My plans and emotions were placed on hold.

Following her surgery, mother continued to have complications. During this physically exhausting time, I was given two nights off duty and was encouraged to get some rest. Assured by all the staff that they would tenderly care for Mother, I took the bus to Doctor Lenanten’s house to sleep.

In the middle of the night, the phone rang. “Sorry to have to call you nurse, but your mother has taken a turn for the worse. We think you should come.”

Doctor Lenanton was also awake and insisted that she accompany me. We drove to my father’s house to pick him up and rushed to the hospital.

“Oh, I should have been there,” I wailed as we drove along. “Maybe I could have done something!”

As soon as we arrived at the ward I was given her report: “Mrs. Halliday’s abdomen is distended, and her fever is 105 degrees Fahrenheit. She is in a coma.”

We dashed to her room. The doctors backed away and allowed us to touch her. She breathed a few more breaths, and then she was gone.

Doctor Lenanton put her arms around me as I stood, stunned.

I watched my father drop to his knees. He raised his hands and prayed, “Father, I give you back my wonderful wife.”

I watched in horror. Daddy doesn’t love Mother! How could he take her death so peacefully! Surely he did not care for her!

The matron came over and kissed me on the cheek. “Are you going home with your father?”

“No. I am going back to work.” I announced, and left the room.

I was furious, and also was in an abyss of anguish and grief. My mother was gone, my father didn’t care, and where was God?

As I entered the ward I couldn’t remember which ward it was, nor what I should be doing for the sleeping patients. In shock, I wandered dazed onto a dark, empty verandah that overlooked a lake. Standing silently for a few moments to regain my composure, I instinctively raised my hands and cried out, “God, I’ve lost my mother! I can’t lose you, too! I give you back my mother. I thank you for her.” Suddenly my despair was gone. I was filled with peace and joy.

I was now ready to return to my parents’ home with my father.

The house was soon filled with flowers. As was the custom, Mummy’s body lay in the sitting room for a week, as friends and family came to mourn.

Reverend Vine, who had married my parents many years before in the Baptist church in Wrotham, spoke at her funeral. He eulogized her life, noting how she loved and cared for her family. “She has not gone; she has just gone ahead,” he reminded us.

A few months later in our hospital my mother’s sister, Aunt Ada, died as I held her in my arms. She fought cancer and lost.

To compound my sorrow a relative of Aunt Ada, who had never been close to her nor visited her in the hospital, insisted that all Aunt Ada’s worldly goods should go to him. Uncle Harold, Aunt Ada’s brother, asked me, “Don’t you want to get anything of Aunt Ada’s?”

“No,” I said sadly. “I’ve got memories. That’s all I need. It makes me feel bad that Aunt Ada’s loving memory should be tainted by selfishness.” He nodded.

Following a rainstorm, a rainbow often appears contrasting the hours of gloomy gray. After my shattering grief, I glimpsed my rainbow. Another letter from Eddie arrived! He asked to see me. He also set a time and place, and my heart flooded with hope and anticipation.

Eddie and I met at the appointed time and talked about our past, present and future. I told him about the doctor’s concerns that I would not be able to have a baby. “Milly dear, it’s you that I can’t live without. Whether we have children or not, it’s all right.”

Discarding my indifference, I told him that I cared for him and would be happy to be his wife. His response was electrifying. He sent me on a trip into the skies to join my rainbow as he gave me my first kiss.

My life changed. I no longer worried over exams and earning good grades. I had chosen to marry Eddie.

I felt the enchantment of his love as he risked fires, air raids and much danger to come see me. He bartered his ration coupons to be able to surprise me with chocolates.

As often as we were able, we visited each other’s families. During one visit to my father’s house, there was an air raid.

Daddy shouted, “Everybody to the air raid shelter! Nobody's allowed to sleep in the house tonight.”

Eddie and I would have preferred to stay in the house and talk all night. To our dismay, we had no alternative but to obey.

My father ushered me to the bunk above my sister Grace. Eddie was sent to the bunk below my other sister. I was annoyed that he did not trust us to be together, nor was he sensitive to our desire to be alone.

Despite these interruptions and inconveniences we set our wedding date for October 21, 1944. My government RN exams came first so I was relieved when Reverend Rose called me. “We, your friends, are going to give you your wedding and honeymoon. You don't have to worry about a thing. You just show up and everything will be ready.”

I was to show up with everything ready, except I did not have a wedding dress. I took time from studying for my exams to pray for one! I had no clothing ration coupons, so could not go out and purchase one.

Movie studios in Hollywood, California, had sent boxes of wedding dresses to our college of nursing with the note, “These are for nurses who are getting married and can't afford wedding dresses.”

Hoping I would find one that would fit I tried many of them on. However, I was disappointed. I was uncomfortable in the beautiful but skimpy wedding dresses. They were not my style.

One of Eddie’s aunts rescued me. She offered her wedding dress. “I have a wedding dress all tucked away that you may use.” It fit me perfectly and I felt comfortably modest in it.

After my dress was chosen, I selected my attendants. I invited an old friend, Alice Ingram from my childhood days in Kent, and Eddie’s sister, Joan, to be my bridesmaids. With these decisions behind me I went back to studying.

Exam day arrived. As I completed the last question and handed the test in I breathed a sigh of relief. I did not worry about the results since I had my wedding to think of! Two weeks later I received notification that I had passed. My Christian friends and I celebrated quietly. War did not allow for costly parties.

War influenced many things. The day before the wedding Alice called. “Milly, I can’t come. They won’t let me off work. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay Alice. You can’t help it that we’re in a war. We’ll miss you.” It was one thing for a bridesmaid to not show up, but I trembled to think of what would be far worse.

“What if Eddie isn’t allowed the time off? What will we do?” I asked Mrs. Mason.

“Milly, be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication let your requests be made known unto God. It seems funny for me to be telling you Scripture verses, but I’m sure it will all work out as we’ve all been praying.” Just as Mrs. Mason assured, Eddie arrived at his parents’ home just after midnight on the day of the wedding.

Since I was not allowed to see Eddie until the wedding, I sent him a note with my brother John: “I’m so glad you made it. Just a few more hours! Love you. Milly”

He responded: “All of the generals in the world could not have prevented me! We will soon be united forever. I love you. Your Eddie”

In the morning I enjoyed the excitement of having my hair styled. My father went with me to pick up my floral bouquet. When he saw that I had chosen red roses he reminded me, “No dear, pink is your color.” We were able to exchange the red roses for a beautiful pink rose floral arrangement.

Following these preparations a taxi took us to meet Reverend Rose. As we arrived in the vestibule I could see that the sanctuary was full and the choir had lined the aisle. I glanced at the front of the church and saw Eddie was there waiting for me. His brother was standing beside him. I smiled at my father and gave his arm a squeeze. The choir started to sing:

I certainly was also rejoicing. As the organist played the wedding march, I walked down the aisle on my father’s arm.

Eddie’s face was radiant as his eyes met mine. I was certain of his love and devotion.

The service proceeded solemnly; I promised to ‘love, honor and obey,’ as Eddie repeated earnestly, ‘With my body I thee worship.’ After we had repeated our vows and were pronounced man and wife, the choir formed an honor guard and sang a recessional as we joyously arm-in-arm walked down the aisle. As we were ready to leave the church, it began raining so we stayed in the vestibule and greeted our guests.

We spent our first night together in a lovely room at a golf course clubhouse, provided by my church friends. The following morning Reverend Rose served us communion. We also reverently placed my rose bridal bouquet on Mother’s grave. From the cemetery, we were taken to the train station in London. As we waved goodbye to all our friends, they cheered and clapped. We were so blessed by the many demonstrations of their love.

The train was full of exhausted British soldiers. They lay on the floor, the luggage racks, and on us. We were relieved when we arrived at the privacy of our honeymoon farmhouse, despite the primitive bathroom facilities—a ceramic pot, stored conveniently under our bed.

How thrilled we were during the day as we walked along gorgeous coastal cliffs of Tintagel and shared with each other our dreams and hopes for the future.

“What shall we do after the war, Milly?”

“Whatever you think. My happiness is being with you.”

Our honeymoon ended too soon. As in every flight, we had soared to heights of love and sharing and now had to touch down to the reality of our daily routine.

England was still at war and required that we do our part. Eddie returned to his Air Force base, and I, to the hospital. I returned re-energized, and totally in love.

We wrote to each other and planned our schedule to see each other once a month. Whenever I got news that my husband had leave, the nursing staff kindly filled in for me so that I could spend time with him. Usually we met at his parents’ home. They were romantically inclined, understood our need to be alone and were always very thoughtful of us.

One evening after supper, Mother Ware told us, “Milly, for ten long years your sweet mother and I agreed and prayed that God would keep you and Eddie for each other, and look! God heard and answered our prayers!”

A few months after we were married, God answered my most fervent prayer. Contrary to my doctor’s warning that I would not have children, I became pregnant. I stayed at the hospital on duty until the end of my seventh month. I, then, took a leave of absence and traveled north to be near Eddie. I lived with a dear old woman who insisted that I was in a “holy state,” and wasn’t to do anything, not even walk up stairs. I didn’t dare tell her of all the stairs that I had climbed and the work I had done in the hospital during the seven months of my “holy state.”

Unexpectedly, Eddie was transferred to a base further south. We decided I should move temporarily to my father’s home. Shortly after that, I moved in with my sister Ruth and her family.

Although the war was over, Eddie had not yet been discharged from the service. When our firstborn arrived on September 3, 1945, he could not be with me.

We had already decided on the baby’s name. When I delivered a fine son, his name was to be Kevin Edward.

“What a wonderful, beautiful child you are!” I cooed to him. “I can’t wait for you to meet your Daddy!” Shortly after, my handsome husband arrived.

“Sweetheart, what a beautiful, tremendous woman you are!” He greeted me with a big kiss. His words made me feel warm, and his kiss thrilled me. I pointed to the bassinet, and he tiptoed over to meet our little man. Eddie’s face was aglow as he examined the baby’s precious little hands and feet. “We sure have a lot to be thankful for, don’t we, Milly?”

Baby Kevin met many people in those first days: my nursing friends, Grandfather and Grandmother Ware, Grandfather Halliday, and all of the uncles and aunts.

Reverend Rose also came and gave a prayer of dedication for Kevin. Then to my complete surprise, he generously offered us his home. “My wife and I are taking a month leave from the parish. We would like you, Eddie and baby Kevin to stay in the rectory while we are gone.” A few days later I was released from the hospital to spend a glorious month in the parish with my new family.

Before the month had passed for Reverend Rose and his wife to return home, we searched everywhere for a place to rent. There were absolutely no vacancies. Our best choice was to move in with my father again.

Kevin and his grandfather Halliday became very close. My father was an early riser so he lifted Kevin from his crib, when Kevin first woke up and thoughtfully took him to the rose garden where they spent many happy hours. We were able to continue our sleep.

When Kevin started to toddle around the house and garden, his grandfather taught him many things. When he got too close to the rose bushes my father pressed his little finger against a sharp thorn. Kevin cried but stayed away from the thorny bushes.

The next year, on October 26, Kevin had a little brother! How we again rejoiced for all our blessings when Clive Philip arrived! Our only frustration was our lack of our own home. Of course, my father was kind and generous, but we needed more living space.

One day Eddie asked, “Milly, would you be willing to go to the New World with me?”

Needless to say, within a few weeks following my positive answer, we were at the London airport, ready to embark for Canada.