Milly

Life in Canada, 1947-1950

“Milly dear, I want to give you a little bit of advice,” Mrs. Mason had said as we sat in her kitchen, drinking our last cup of tea together. Kevin was playing with some of Graham’s old toys, and Clive lay asleep in his stroller. “In Canada your children’s schedules and surroundings will all be changed. To help them adjust you must keep familiar things around them, for instance, Kevin’s favorite toy, and Clive’s baby-blanket; and wherever you stay, even if it is for only two weeks, make it ‘home.’”

Her advice ran through my mind as we emptied our belongings from the car into the Dunsmuir Hotel in Vancouver. I set up pictures on the mantel, my tablecloth on the worn table, and put the packing boxes in the back of the cupboard.

At the grocery store I found a wilted plant for five cents and nursed it to health. It repaid me by blooming beautifully on the kitchen windowsill. The children’s toys were unpacked and the children were given space to play. Each boy had a comforter from England that he knew was his own. I laid each one on his bed. I cooked regular, healthy meals each day. Within a week the old building was home.

Two weeks after we moved in, I was finishing a letter to Mrs. Mason, thanking her for her advice, when I noticed the boys were unusually quiet. I stepped into the next room and found them with a blanket half out the window.

“Boys! That’s a naughty thing to do!” I retrieved the blanket and glanced down at the sidewalk. Angry people stood pointing up at me. At their feet were a dozen toys, a shoe that looked faintly familiar, and an old pan that I had let the boys play with. “Oh, dear!”

I was upset. I raced downstairs, rescued our things and ran back to the boys. “Why did you throw those things down?”

“It made people look up, and the things made noises when they landed!” Kevin said.

“Did the people on the sidewalk look happy?” I asked.

“No, dey didn’t, dey looked mad,” two-year-old Clive replied.

“And why were they unhappy?”

“Because something could have hit them?” Kevin asked.

“Yes, they could have been hurt badly. And did Mummy look happy when she found you? ”

“No, you wasn’t,” Clive said.

“Why not?”

“’Cause it took time to go and fetch the things?” Kevin asked.

“’Cause dey got dirty?” Clive asked.

“Yes, and someone could have taken our things away, and then we would be missing a shoe, we would be cold at night, and you would have fewer toys! You boys leave the window alone. I will take you to the park to play. All right?”

“All right, Mummy. We’re sorry.” They hugged me, and we went to make a lunch to take to the park.

We walked hand in hand to the swings. While the boys chased each other up and down the slide, I sat on a nearby bench. A tall lady sat next to me and sent her daughter to the swing. We smiled at each other and talked about the weather.

Out of the blue she asked, “Are you a Christian?”

“Why yes, I am.”

“Where do you attend church?”

“Actually, we haven’t found a church yet. We just moved from England.”

“I go to the Salvation Army, and you’d sure be welcome if you cared to come.” I thanked her and decided to discuss the subject with Eddie that night.

I put the boys to bed early and met Eddie at the door. I deliberately wore my best black skirt and white blouse. I also had cooked a simple stew on the hot plate, serving it as attractively as I could. Eddie seemed to relax as soon as he entered the door.

While we were eating, I mentioned what had happened earlier that day. “We were invited to church next Sunday!”

“What church?”

“The Salvation Army. ”

“Let’s go; maybe they’ll have a band I can join.” Eddie surprised me, since I thought that I would have difficulty persuading him to attend.

The next Sunday we drove to the Salvation Army Hall. Sure enough, they had a band and were excited that my husband played the trumpet.

“Do you smoke?” one of the men asked.

“A little,” Eddie admitted.

“If you want to play in the band that will have to go.”

“So I’ll quit.” Eddie replied. Stopping smoking was easy for him. However, two weeks later he returned home from work looking very sick.

“Eddie, what happened? You look green!”

“Ohhh, I feel sick! A buddy offered me a cigarette on the ferry, and I didn’t think one would make any difference, so I smoked it.” Later that night he declared, “I’ll never smoke again if it does this to my body!” And he never did.

We attended the Salvation Army services regularly, and wore their uniform. The group was small but very concerned for the salvation of the lost. At one point we considered attending their training college to become full time workers, but our children would have to be left with strangers while we studied. We chose not to leave them in someone else’s care.

One night after a long day at work, Eddie arrived home with a chocolate cake, a big smile, and a twinkle in his eye. The cake was a luxury, so I knew something was up. After we ate our meal, and had savored every bite of the moist cake, Eddie announced, “I’ve found the land for our house, Milly!” He pushed his chair away from the table and sat me down on his lap.

“You have?”

“Yes, on the north side of Vancouver. It’s on a hill, and has a beautiful view of the harbor. On Saturday I’ll take you there. We could put the last of our savings that arrived from England, as a down-payment on it.”

When we were first married we had stayed at my father’s home. After contributing for food and expenses, with Eddie’s good sales job, we had been able to save money. However, when we left England the government allowed us to only bring a small amount. The government also regulated how often subsequent money could be sent to us in Canada.

“I can’t wait to see the land that you’ve found. Please tell me all about it!”

Eddie described in detail the special things he was going to provide. “I even looked at a stove today. You never complain about that hot plate, but I’m going to make it up to you.”

On Saturday Eddie drove with excitement to show me the land. I was not disappointed. It met every requirement of our ‘dream,’ so we signed the purchase papers. Following our purchase, Eddie spent his free hours drawing house plans.

“Milly, where do you want your kitchen sink to be? And which room do you think should be the boys’ room?”

It was exciting and scary at the same time. We had no experience to guide us. For example, when Eddie asked me what color I wanted the floor to be, I had difficulty visualizing from a tiny sample what carpeting would look like on an entire floor. I just guessed.

Eddie researched and found a contractor who agreed to let us participate in the construction, to keep the costs down. Our dream house was going to require a lot of work and money!

Every week we took a ferry to the north shore and a bus up the hill to our home site.  We cleared the land and lay the foundation, then framed our home. Finally, came the roof, followed by walls and the drywall.

As we worked diligently on the construction, the boys were always with us. They explored and played in the mud and springtime slush. We thought we always knew where they were. However, one day a woman walked our boys over to us.

“I found these two in my garden, breaking my decorations,” she asserted angrily and touched the shoulders of the two sheepish boys. I climbed down from the scaffold and apologized profusely.

After she left, I took the boys over to the steps. “Now, boys, explain this to me.” They proceeded to tell of the fun that they’d just had. “Did the lady have fun breaking her things with you?”

“’Course not,” Clive admitted.

“The Bible says, ‘Do unto others the way you want them to do to you.’ Would you like someone to come along and start breaking our house?”

“No, but we didn’t bwake her house, and our yard is already bwoken!” Clive said.

“What about when our yard is all fixed, then how would you like it?”

“Wouldn’t like it,” Kevin said.

“She’s going to be one of our neighbors. Was it smart to hurt her things when we are trying to be friendly and get to know her as a neighbor?”

“Guess not.” Kevin put his head down, “I’m sorry. Are we going to get a spank?”

“Yes, and why do you think I’m going to spank you?” I asked sadly.

“To help us ‘member?” Clive said.

“Yes, to help you to remember.” So I turned each one over on my knee and gave one smack with my hand on each bottom. Then we hugged and changed the subject to a positive note.

“I tell you what.” I interjected, “You made a mistake today, but next time you’re going to use your smart little heads better, aren’t you. Daddy and I have been really pleased with how you’ve helped us move rocks and branches and picked up nails. And before long you’re going to get a reward for all that work.”

“A reward?” both of them dropped little jaws, and their eyes got big.

“Yes, a bicycle each!”

“I can’t be happy about it yet, “ Kevin’s stated dejectedly.

“Why is that, son?”

“Because I didn’t say ‘sorry’ to the neighbor yet.”

I wiped their cheeks clean, then watched as they went hand in hand to the neighbor’s front door. I saw the door open and the lady lean over to listen. She gave them each a hug as they disappeared into her home. A few minutes later they each ran back to us with cookies in hand. Kevin could now be happy.

At the end of the day we collected and locked up the tools.

“Hurry boys! You can finish that fort you’re making tomorrow. We’ve got to catch the last bus.”

We ran down the hill to the bus, exhausted and dirty. After the ferry ride we tumbled into the car, drove back to the Dunsmuir Hotel, and dragged ourselves up the steps of the hotel. Our dreams were very hard work!

During this exciting time, I had a big surprise to share with Eddie, so I bought a chocolate cake for our evening’s dessert. As we ate it, I asked Eddie, “Do you know what we are celebrating?”

“That you’re the most beautiful, wonderful woman in the world?”

“No Eddie, I’m serious!”

“I am serious!” he hugged me and sat me on his lap. “That the framing on the house is done?”

“No, I’m glad about that, but that’s not it,” I said.

“The children haven’t thrown anything out of the window for a long time?”

“No, Eddie! It’s another miracle. We’re going to have a baby!”

He turned pale. “Are you quite sure?”

“Quite sure!” I replied emphatically.

“I’ve been thinking about babies lately,” he admitted. “Actually I’ve been thinking that if we should ever have another child, it would be nice if it were a girl. Wouldn’t you think so? My coming home to you, and our two precious little boys, to a white house with a blue roof and a big picture window overlooking Vancouver’s Howe Sound, and to add the cherry to the top of the dessert, a baby girl. All of my dreams wrapped up in one!” I was pleased that not only did he like my dessert but my happy announcement as well.

Eddie worked part-time doing photography along with his full time tool sales job to save money for a newer car. After a year of incredibly hard physical labor, we moved out of the hotel and into our Dream House.

The house was not quite finished, but we wanted to be settled in before the baby arrived. As we were moving in and unpacking, the church ladies brought gifts for our home, including a set of fine English bone china. I was thrilled. The men of the church also brought Eddie a wheelbarrow full of tools.                                            

In the meantime, Eddie’s brother, followed by his parents, had moved to Canada from England, so Grandmother Ware came to visit and help us move in. On April 22, 1950, Eddie helped admit me to the hospital. He then returned home with his mother and the boys waiting for the birth announcement.

A few hours later a nurse called from the hospital, “Mr. Ware, your wife just had a baby.”

“Oh! Yes! How wonderful! And what was it?” he queried.

“A ba-by…”

“Yes! Yes! A baby. But what kind of baby?” he interrupted impatiently.

“Well, Mr. Ware, a baby,” she said slowly, “a baby-girl!” Eddie broke into happy tears. My husband’s Dream was complete!

Months later, we were sitting on our new furniture in the living room. The drape was pulled back to enjoy the lights from the harbor through our big picture window. The boys were asleep, and I had just put Heather into her crib. As I snuggled next to Eddie, he put his arm around me but I sensed that something was bothering him. I asked, “What’s on your mind, Eddie?”

“It seems like a never-ending quest, always striving for better things. What I thought were perfect house plans, aren’t. What I thought would completely satisfy me, hasn’t. There are things about the neighbor’s new houses that I like better than ours.”

“But Eddie,” I protested, “I’m really enjoying our house! The stove is wonderful along with everything else. I think you’ve done a tremendous job, and I thank you for it!” I put my arms around him and hugged him. “You’ve worked so hard, and have really done well.”

We sat in silence, each thinking our own thoughts. Then I reminded him, “Remember when we were kids and gave our lives to serve God? Maybe God doesn’t want us to get so satisfied that we forget our promise.”

Eddie sat up agitated. “If He wants me to do something, He’s got to make it really clear. Right now I’m working on I Timothy 5: 8.”

I went over to my Bible to find the verse that he referred to. I read, If any provide not for his own and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Despite Eddie’s dissatisfaction, we continued to improve our home and increase our home furnishings from week to week. Also our children gave us great joy. Both Eddie and I agreed that life had actually been very good to us. We continued to attend church and found that some of our neighbors were also Christians.

One neighbor rode the ferry to work with Eddie. He and his wife constantly entertained missionaries and ministers, and they often invited us to come to their home to meet them.

One night I stayed home with the children while Eddie went next door to meet a guest minister. The minister was talking about demons. He said that he could see them in the room as they crawled around.

Eddie hurried home that night. “I’m not going back, Milly! That was weird, and I didn’t appreciate it. Where does it say anything in the Bible about demons crawling around, I’d like to know!” We both shivered at the thought.

Months went by. Again our neighbor came to invite us to a Christian gathering at his home. He turned to Eddie, “It’s nothing like that other time. This person is a missionary, and talks straight on the Bible. I think that you’d really enjoy him!”

“I’ve got work to do,” Eddie replied. “I can watch the children, if Milly wants to go.”

“All right, I’ll go,” I said, since I couldn’t think of an excuse. “What time is the meeting?”

“Seven o’clock. Look forward to seeing you,” he said, and walked down the driveway.

The guest speaker that night was Paul Flemming, a missionary. From the moment he opened his mouth I was riveted. At the end of his talk he challenged each one of us to serve God on the mission field. Turning to me he asked, “What about you?”

“I’m married with three children!” I protested.

“That’s no excuse. God wants to use you.”

Around midnight, when I arrived home, I woke Eddie. "You won't believe this! You've just simply got to hear this man! He's presented a challenge to me that I think is of the Lord. You’ve got to go tomorrow night."

He grunted. “That’s nice. Tell me about it in the morning.” Eddie rolled over and went back to sleep.

I was awake. As I went to bed I wondered how I could get Eddie to go hear what I heard? I fell asleep with an idea that I hoped would work.

The memory of the previous night was lost in the morning rush, but when Eddie returned from work, I was at the door wearing my favorite dress. The aroma of roast with all the trimmings filled the house. I kissed him and handed Heather to him. She was fed, bathed and in her cutest dress. Eddie carried the baby with him into our bedroom, and I held my breath. I was praying that my plan would work. I had laid his going-out-clothes on the bed. They were ironed and ready to put on.

“Where we going, Ange’?” Eddie called out, using his abbreviation for ‘Angel’ that he often called me.

“What I told you about last night, darling. It’s your turn tonight!” I announced as if he were going to pick out a free Rolls Royce or something equally as desirable.

“What are you talking about? Maybe I don’t want to go out tonight. Maybe I just want to stay home and snuggle with my beautiful wife.” he responded. He was silent for a few moments. “You don’t want me to go to the neighbor’s, do you?”

“Oh, please, dear. It was so good. I want you to hear what I heard! Please go, just for me.” I came up and kissed him.

“All right, I guess I could go. But if it’s anything like the last time, I’ll leave before it starts.”

“Oh, thank you! It isn’t anything like the last time. Thank you, thank you!” I was overjoyed with gratitude for the answer to my prayer.

As soon as supper was over he played with the boys, then headed for the door.

The neighbor’s house was lit up, and there were a dozen cars parked in front. I watched and prayed as Eddie knocked on their door. I saw that he was cordially welcomed, so I closed the drape and got the children ready for bed. Hours passed. A few minutes before eleven o’clock I checked the window. Cars were still parked at the neighbor’s house.

Preparing for bed, I dropped to my knees and prayed, “Dear God, thank you for the privilege of being yours, and for all that you have done for us. If you have plans for Eddie and me, please make them very clear, and help us to do whatever you desire.” With that I turned back the covers and sat to read. I had fallen asleep when about midnight Eddie woke me up! He was standing by the bed looking at me. The last time I had seen that look on his face was when we were teenage sweethearts, and we had given our lives to serve God.

“God has everything, Milly! Everything! The only thing that God doesn’t have is us! The value of one soul saved is worth more than the entire world!” He sat on the edge of the bed. “If one person is of such value, then what are we doing wasting our energy worrying what color our bathroom is?” He hardly stopped to take a breath. “Last year a planeload of missionaries crashed in Venezuela. They all died. God has to replace those Christian soldiers. Are you willing to leave everything and fill their place?”

“It scares me a little, Eddie, but yes, I’ll step out in faith with you. I wonder what God wants to do with us?”

“I’m not sure, but I believe that we need to be found faithful right now. About the Father’s business.”

The next day we called a few families we knew and started a meeting in our home to pray for the mission field both in our neighborhood and around the world. We also were eager to share a little of the Word with them. God unusually blessed our meetings so that more people came each week. Soon there were several dozen who attended. Shortly after, we sent money to various missions, especially Brother Flemming’s.

After almost a year, we received a letter:

We called a meeting to discuss the challenge presented in Paul’s letter. The oldest couple in our group said, “We couldn’t do that. We’re too old. We would be much more productive as prayer warriors, backing up those that feel to go out. We cannot go.”

Each person had a reason for not getting involved. One young man who had already been a missionary, but had married a non-Christian said, “My heart burns within me, but I can't consider it. My wife is already upset that I attend these house meetings. I cannot go.”

“That leaves us,” Eddie decided.

We were excited at the thought of serving God.

One valued friend told us that there were three steps in knowing God’s will. The first: Is it Scriptural? The second: Do you have a desire to do it? The third: Do the circumstances work out? If it is His will, He will make it possible.

A week later a man whom we’d never seen before knocked on our door. “I’ve been looking at your house for the last month. If you should ever want to sell it, please let me know.”

Shortly after, another letter arrived from Paul Flemming.

We were excited and called our group together to discuss how we should arrange for this meeting.

One person suggested, “Let's rent the sports arena of the Pacific National Exhibition Grounds, and invite the whole city!"

Another suggested, “No, let's get one of our small local churches, perhaps yours or ours, and have a small gathering of those that we think might be interested.”

I said, "No, the exhibition grounds is a little bit over ambitious, and yet I think we could do better than just a small church of forty or fifty people." We sought the cooperation of the pastor of a large church, and found him only too happy to help us.

We advertised, and looked forward to this special occasion. The mission sent a man named Leroy Larson to help us prepare. He was to answer any questions, and help with the gathering.

The night before the event we received a telephone call from Paul Flemming, “We are running really behind on our schedule, so we cannot make it up to Canada. Carry on with the meeting. Brother Larson will help, and we’ll pray that it will be a real blessing.”

We were deeply disappointed since we had looked forward to hearing Mr. Flemming again.

Eddie groaned. “The people are expecting someone important, and all they’ll get is us!”

The next night the building was filled to capacity and people were turned away at the door. The service proceeded with joyous and challenging testimonies and songs. As I listened, Kevin and Clive on each side of me, and the baby on my lap, one song spoke to me:

I had been encouraging Eddie to enlist as a missionary and follow God, but now that he was actually making a commitment, I worried about our children’s well being. If Eddie quit work and we lived by faith, would our children get what they needed: food, shelter, and education? During the meeting, I confessed my fears to God, and by faith entrusted our children to His care.

After the meeting many desired to stay for prayer. It was after midnight when we returned home.

The next morning, as we sat at the breakfast table, Eddie flipped on the radio to hear the day’s news and weather. “There has been an airplane crash in the United States. A plane with twenty-six missionaries ran into the Grand Tetons. All aboard are believed dead.”

Eddie looked at me in horror. Our eyes registered disbelief, then dumb shock. “Could it be….How could it not be….Paul Flemming and the others were twenty six!”

A telephone call proved that the report was accurate. The very group of missionaries that we had expected all perished on the side of a cold mountain. Why?

“The Lord allows some to go, so that many more will take their place,” echoed in my mind from the words of Paul Flemming when he told us with passion about the airplane accident in Venezuela years before.

We spent many days in shock, praying and grieving. The Lord answered our prayers by giving Eddie a poem: the need and vision was to live in our hearts.

We walked around in a sad daze for days and many times tears rolled down our cheeks. One morning, after Eddie had gone to work, I was on my knees crying for the loved ones of those who had died. Clive came in and knelt beside me. “Why are you crying, Mummy?”

“Because we’re going to miss our Christian brothers and sisters who died.”

“Where did they go, Mummy?”

“They went to be with Jesus. They’re talking with Jonah and Elijah, who we read about last night.”

Clive interrupted, “And will they see the little boy who gave Jesus his fish?”

“Yes, and all the disciples, and Grandmother Halliday, and…” As Clive and I continued to compile the list, I realized that those who had gone before were the privileged ones. With Clive’s questions, I was comforted.

Eddie was so certain that God had called us, he proceeded to plan for the missionary training camp. The Assemblies of God church offered the use of their church summer camp to open our training camp.

We desired to go forward unencumbered and not have ties to entice us back. So we burned our bridges by selling and giving away the belongings that we would not need as missionaries. I only saved two things. One was the set of china dishes that the Salvation Army ladies had given us as a housewarming gift. The luxury of having those expensive dishes from my former home country warmed my heart each time I used them. The other was our mattress. Eddie and I had sacrificed for a long time to pay for it. Since I would have missed it terribly, we decided to take it with us. Surely the God that said He giveth His beloved sleep knew that I needed it. And surely He looked at what I gave up, not what I hung on to!

Many people questioned our sanity. “You’ve got a family and responsibilities. How can you throw your job, your new home, your friends, and all that you’ve worked for to the wind? You’re going to regret what you’re doing, and come back penniless, begging us to take you in.”

All that we could say was, “We’ll never know unless we try. God left Heaven to come to earth to save us. The Bible says in Matthew 16:25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.